Masochistic Type

01Where does this type come from?

The masochistic type often develops in an early phase of childhood – exactly when the child begins to discover their own “no”.
If toilet training, defiance and first attempts at autonomy are met with pressure or guilt during this time, the natural need to set boundaries can be suppressed.
An overbearing, self-sacrificing mother (“Make your mommy happy”) and a passive father shape the picture.
Typical is a family in which love and recognition depend on being good and compliant.
The “no” is not lived, but hidden.
On the outside, the child seems sweet and friendly, but inside it is seething.
Sabotage, resentment and suppressed anger are often the result.

There is a lot of energy inside – but it is held back with all one’s might.
The body cannot really relax, the outer organs are undersupplied.
Impulses that want to flow up or down are blocked in the throat and at the waist. This leads to fear and inner rigidity.

The body looks compact and muscular, with a short neck and a thick waist.
The pelvis is pushed forward, the buttocks are tucked in, the feet point outwards.
Typical are button eyes, a ring of fat around the waist and a darker skin tone – often with heavy body hair.
The thumbs are often tucked in, which points to restraint and self-protection.

The masochistic type is afraid to show themselves – especially with their “no”.
They often seem submissive, try to please everyone, suffer in silence and seek recognition by fitting in.
But beneath this surface, unconscious feelings are seething: anger, hostility, fantasies of superiority – paired with the fear that these feelings might break out.
They avoid activity for fear of punishment or rejection. This leads to sluggishness, complacency and a sad aura.
They are charming, hard to pin down and wrap others around their finger without offering a target.
Their inner mantra is often: “If I obey, you will love me.”
The blockage also shows in sexuality: the energy is stopped at the waist.
They let others act for them and stay passive. Their strengths lie in friendliness, love of home and a harmonious nature.
People often feel safe and secure with them.
Typical complaints: digestive problems (especially constipation), breathing difficulties, asthma, high blood pressure.

The goal is to lovingly bring the suppressed “no” to light.
Sometimes confrontation is needed, too – for example through breathing exercises or targeted tension that makes the blockage tangible.
Feelings of disgust may be shown and accepted.
The masochistic type is often indirect – so clarity of expression is important: learning to show oneself and to stand up for oneself.
Conscious breathing, bodywork, movement, dance and deep tissue massage (for example Postural Integration or Rolfing) are helpful.
All of this can help to get the energy flowing again – and to turn the inner “no” into a powerful “yes to oneself”.